Quitting

I tried to forget.

The memory gaps, the nightmares, everything was just too much. I thought if I just never looked at this site, never watched the videos again, got rid of the journal, then all of it would go away.

I was wrong. When I tried to burn the journal, he stopped me.

It took weeks for me to build up the courage to do it, to let it go. But when I tried, he was just standing there, staring at me with eyes that weren't there. I ran. I didn't know what else to do. I hid in my room for hours. When I looked outside, he was gone. I looked down at the journal, and held it close.

If there's anyone out there that knows what the hell is going on, I'm all ears. Cause I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. He doesn't want me to destroy the journal, and he doesn't want me out. What does he want?