Quitting

I tried to forget.

The memory gaps, the nightmares, everything was just too much. I thought if I just never looked at this site, never watched the videos again, got rid of the journal, then all of it would go away.

I was wrong. When I tried to burn the journal, he stopped me.

It took weeks for me to build up the courage to do it, to let it go. But when I tried, he was just standing there, staring at me with eyes that weren't there. I ran. I didn't know what else to do. I hid in my room for hours. When I looked outside, he was gone. I looked down at the journal, and held it close.

If there's anyone out there that knows what the hell is going on, I'm all ears. Cause I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. He doesn't want me to destroy the journal, and he doesn't want me out. What does he want?

memory

I woke up just an hour ago. It's almost 9:30 at night. I don't remember anything happening since early April. When I woke up, I was surrounded by the pages of Claire's journal. The cover was on the floor, the binding ripped. I collected all the pages and put them back in order. It was like, my mind couldn't process anything new. I could only put everything back.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Strange writings

I've been seeing more and more writings about this creepy man that Claire's been seeing. As I saw entry after entry, I started getting really unnerved and decided to take a break. I got on my computer and decided to watch Marble Hornets.

Bad idea.

The second entry nearly made me fall out of my chair. That man in the tape was the same man that Claire was writing about. I watched all the entries whenever I got the chance and now I'm really freaking out. What the Hell was Claire into?

I immediately went back to the journal and found this entry:

Whatever this thing is, he was making her go crazy. I flipped through and saw that more and more of the entries are ramblings and scribbles of one form or another.

Ever since I started this, my nightmares are becoming more and more frequent. The man, running, Fire,.. all of it is happening again and again. I'm starting to wonder just what the hell Claire sent me. and why did she send it at all?

Strange man

I started to read Claire's journal. At first it was just normal entries about her day and what was happening. Then I came to this entry:

    11/21/11
         There's some man who's watching me. He's always too far away for me to see his face, but I can see he's always wearing a suit. Is he some guy from the government or something? But why would a guy from the government be watching me? Honestly, it's kinda freaking me out. The other day, I tried to walk towards him. One of my friends called out to me and I looked away. When I looked back, he was gone. I took my eyes away for only a second. He couldn't have just disappeared without me seeing him leave. 

Then there was another entry about a week later

     11/30/11
          I found an old picture in my yearbook from elementary school. It was folded up in the back and I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it. I think it's the guy I've been seeing. But I don't remember this picture or this man. 


She taped this picture in the journal:

Claire and I went to elementary school together. She and I would always play make believe and she would always talk about her friend "Mister." She always said he was real, but I never believed her. What really surprises me is that she doesn't remember. She talked about Mister for years, and I thought that she would remember it more than I do.            
          

Claire

I found out today that my friend Claire, the one I told you emailed me, died. Apparently, she drove off the side of the road 2 nights ago and crashed into a tree. The police believe that she was texting and that caused her crash. I don't believe that. Claire was always so paranoid about being on the road. When we were in Driver's Ed, She focused on the road like she'd have to take a test on exactly what it looked like.

Her package also arrived today. I nearly broke down when I saw it. At first, I was too unnerved to open it, but I thought about how this is the last thing I have from her. Inside was journal. It was velvet on the outside, with "Journal" printed on the outside. I opened it and a note fell out. It was just standard, lined paper. This is the message she sent me:

This is getting way too freaking weird. 

Nightmares

Okay, apparently my subconscious mind enjoys the idea of me barely getting any sleep. I had a really creepy dream last night and I was kinda scared to go back to sleep.

In the dream, I was running through a forest. I had a bow in my hand and a quiver of arrows around my shoulder. I thought that because I've been reading "The Hunger Games" I must have been picturing myself as Katniss in the arena. But the bow and quiver wasn't silver like in the book. I was running from something, but didn't have the slightest idea what. I saw others running beside me. Children and teenagers, all running in the same direction. I heard screams coming from beside me. I looked over and saw the children being pulled back by something. I didn't dare look over my shoulder, I just kept running. Soon, I was the only one left. I could feel my heart racing and my lungs burning, begging for air. I paused and drew back an arrow, shooting it at the direction I had come from. Then I took off running again. I came to a clearing and crashed on the ground. I was trying to get my feet back under me when I looked up and saw all the trees were on fire. There was no where for me to run, and the fire was closing in on me. I felt the air being burned off and becoming thin, and the heat was becoming near unbearable. I saw something just beyond the flames. All I could make out was the silhouette of a man. I started to back up, but felt the flames behind me burning my back. I looked back at the flames and then at the man. He was just standing there, staring me down. I looked between them again, and then turned my back to the man and dove into the fire. 

I woke up in a cold sweat and brought my knees up to my chest. Whoever that man was, I was willing to burn to death to escape him. 

My life.

....Hi. I'm Fireangel, I guess. Elizabeth is my real name, but I go by various nicknames. Liz, Lizzy, Ellie. Whatever you guys would prefer.
I am a HUGE nerd, especially when it comes to anime, video games, and comics. The internet is probably one of my best friends, but I have real friends in the outside world. I consider myself a writer, but I haven't published anything outside the internet. I'm trying to write, but have a serious problem with writer's block.
My life can be somewhat random. I'm still in school, so randomness is kind of a given. I hope that I'll be able to keep up with this for more than a few months, maybe I'll even get into a regular schedule with posts and stuff. Maybe my life will be interesting for someone, or maybe not.

I guess I could start by talking about what's going on in my life right now. My brother sent me a link to this channel on youtube called "Marble Hornets." I've only seen the introduction so far, but I think it might get a bit creepy. Guy leaves town and his friend finds tapes to a student film years later? It's kinda like the set up to a horror film. If that were me, I'd leave the tapes alone, especially if my friend had previously told me to burn them.

I haven't been able to watch much because me and my parents are redecorating our house. Next week they're going to an IKEA to look at renovating our kitchen. Anyway, as part of the redecorating, we've been clearing out our attic and a lot of other things. As that's happening, My mom and I get sidetracked while looking at all the old stuff we find.

Also, one of my friends who moved to California e-mailed me the other day. She said she had something important to give me and that I should expect it in the mail soon. I e-mailed back asking what it was, but she said it was a surprise and I had to wait and see. Whatever it is, I hope I can use it for my writing.